I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
