im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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