Someone shit on the floor
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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