i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
