yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.