Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  It was kinda weird being the boss

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  Did you feel like Tony Danza?

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  (540): It was kinda weird being the boss (1-540): Did you feel like Tony Danza? http://tfl.nu/xn58
  Replies (1) Good night (1616) Bad night (590)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot

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  (517): every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot http://tfl.nu/9euo
  Replies (41) Good night (877) Bad night (2000)
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  (752): View more from California

  What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?

  (209): View more from California

  I think the two go hand in hand.

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  (752): What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall? (209): I think the two go hand in hand. http://tfl.nu/xxhp
  Replies (73) Good night (1125) Bad night (5995)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.

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  (204): i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week. http://tfl.nu/kpcq
  Replies (5) Good night (4015) Bad night (769)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.

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  (905): My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me. http://tfl.nu/adnf
  Replies (16) Good night (950) Bad night (4574)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list

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  (301): This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list http://tfl.nu/qiye
  Replies (14) Good night (4451) Bad night (950)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.

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  (702): Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent. http://tfl.nu/4is5
  Replies (20) Good night (5428) Bad night (993)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.

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  (570): knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that. http://tfl.nu/tu47
  Replies (6) Good night (1560) Bad night (1178)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?

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  (715): hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes? http://tfl.nu/o98x
  Replies (10) Good night (5668) Bad night (751)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.

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  (913): Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/5vu2
  Replies (5) Good night (1623) Bad night (829)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.

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  (412): Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator. http://tfl.nu/e8nd
  Replies (6) Good night (1794) Bad night (556)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.

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  (724): Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores. http://tfl.nu/hule
  Replies (5) Good night (525) Bad night (1263)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.

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  (864): her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality. http://tfl.nu/j8og
  Replies (11) Good night (1835) Bad night (1142)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.

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  (815): I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life. http://tfl.nu/262m
  Replies (8) Good night (847) Bad night (408)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.

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  (314): That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu. http://tfl.nu/ssef
  Replies (7) Good night (711) Bad night (454)

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