Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?

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  (770): Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich? http://tfl.nu/e2fw
  Replies (17) Good night (2138) Bad night (1066)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.

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  (603): all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter. http://tfl.nu/9v6o
  Replies (17) Good night (4885) Bad night (499)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!

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  (732): Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?! http://tfl.nu/h8uq
  Replies (10) Good night (796) Bad night (4430)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night

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  (440): It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night http://tfl.nu/ffc5
  Replies (17) Good night (1080) Bad night (2386)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight

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  (713): We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight http://tfl.nu/owr2
  Replies (6) Good night (716) Bad night (4193)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.

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  (207): He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time. http://tfl.nu/24re
  Replies (10) Good night (2947) Bad night (882)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.

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  (402): We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere. http://tfl.nu/yzs5
  Replies (3) Good night (2332) Bad night (726)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.

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  (770): I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening. http://tfl.nu/87ko
  Replies (5) Good night (1049) Bad night (440)
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"

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  (44): Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?" http://tfl.nu/lln8
  Replies (4) Good night (478) Bad night (1102)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar

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  (207): My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar http://tfl.nu/m9rj
  Replies (6) Good night (1200) Bad night (441)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.

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  (207): It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective. http://tfl.nu/0c9h
  Replies (6) Good night (1890) Bad night (455)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I had to rip your toilet paper for you...

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  (914): I had to rip your toilet paper for you... http://tfl.nu/xdup
  Replies (3) Good night (524) Bad night (757)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.

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  (512): I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds. http://tfl.nu/soup
  Replies (4) Good night (456) Bad night (246)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.

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  (407): Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone. http://tfl.nu/oywy
  Replies (4) Good night (287) Bad night (655)
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  (760): View more from California

  dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself

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  (760): dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself http://tfl.nu/8oqh
  Replies (2) Good night (232) Bad night (602)

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