I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
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I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run