Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.

(708): View more from Illinois

We need to hang out more often

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(248): View more from Michigan

the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day

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(214): View more from Texas

How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?

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23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home

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(216): View more from Ohio

i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time

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(951): View more from California

I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any

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(704): View more from North Carolina

What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?

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