Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.

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  (850): JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk. http://tfl.nu/brrf
  Replies (12) Good night (4322) Bad night (825)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...

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  (832): Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it... http://tfl.nu/2lrl
  Replies (9) Good night (667) Bad night (3755)
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  (805): View more from California

  Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.

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  (805): Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras. http://tfl.nu/u72n
  Replies (28) Good night (3147) Bad night (539)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.

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  (828): Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end. http://tfl.nu/rcny
  Replies (27) Good night (2624) Bad night (5092)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college

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  (801): Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college http://tfl.nu/xwrm
  Replies (8) Good night (2706) Bad night (801)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.

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  (601): I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak. http://tfl.nu/j26q
  Replies (19) Good night (724) Bad night (3349)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.

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  (857): It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful. http://tfl.nu/xfy4
  Replies (9) Good night (2211) Bad night (1228)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed

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  (734): I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed http://tfl.nu/ut1d
  Replies (3) Good night (1022) Bad night (547)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.

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  (509): Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs. http://tfl.nu/0hn1
  Replies (6) Good night (894) Bad night (534)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.

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  (601): You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs. http://tfl.nu/oyg1
  Replies (3) Good night (289) Bad night (644)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?

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  (813): So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance? http://tfl.nu/tosl
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (413)
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  (518): View more from New York

  THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason

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  (518): THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason http://tfl.nu/3zx2
  Replies (4) Good night (404) Bad night (686)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.

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  (770): I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups. http://tfl.nu/x4cx
  Replies (1) Good night (337) Bad night (577)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex

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  (561): P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex http://tfl.nu/zcn5
  Replies (3) Good night (540) Bad night (176)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.

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  (208): Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked. http://tfl.nu/tzyh
  Replies (1) Good night (695) Bad night (181)

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