Texts From Last Night

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  (817): View more from Texas

  why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?

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  (817): why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"? http://tfl.nu/jsyi
  Replies (12) Good night (2581) Bad night (651)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.

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  (775): Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/nqat
  Replies (26) Good night (3763) Bad night (655)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty

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  (732): please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty http://tfl.nu/l1xo
  Replies (31) Good night (1224) Bad night (4080)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.

  (815): View more from Illinois

  we live in such a classy society.

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  (630): just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead. (815): we live in such a classy society. http://tfl.nu/glf0
  Replies (25) Good night (5750) Bad night (1278)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow

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  (202): no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow http://tfl.nu/mex5
  Replies (67) Good night (8713) Bad night (2210)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.

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  (281): Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together. http://tfl.nu/69iq
  Replies (15) Good night (2977) Bad night (955)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night

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  (406): He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night http://tfl.nu/scut
  Replies (7) Good night (3764) Bad night (881)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.

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  (413): I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude? (908): It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer. http://tfl.nu/qzgh
  Replies (3) Good night (2271) Bad night (753)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?

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  (443): At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together? http://tfl.nu/40u8
  Replies (6) Good night (618) Bad night (2011)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?

  (1+44): View more from

  It's a podium place so yeah...

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  (+44): Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right? (1+44): It's a podium place so yeah... http://tfl.nu/cezg
  Replies (8) Good night (1416) Bad night (485)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?

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  (972): I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right? http://tfl.nu/cvur
  Replies (3) Good night (491) Bad night (844)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra

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  (616): be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra http://tfl.nu/3wvg
  Replies (4) Good night (620) Bad night (487)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?

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  (727): If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student? http://tfl.nu/6ss9
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (327)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.

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  (386): he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy. http://tfl.nu/rtlu
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (426)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.

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  (336): I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship. http://tfl.nu/eiro
  Replies (2) Good night (275) Bad night (460)

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