Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
