I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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