dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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