Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
