wake up i wanna do it froggy style
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
