just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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