I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
