do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
