I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
