I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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