he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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