You made me cry and you don't even care
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
