is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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