I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
