Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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