Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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