im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize