Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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