I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize