Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
