I have demons in me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
