Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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