I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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