not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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