It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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