Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
