I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
