I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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