I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
