Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
