The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
