omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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