I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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