Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize