Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
