it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
