Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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