Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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