I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
