I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
