I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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