I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
