The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
