tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
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It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
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Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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