So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Drunk walkin through police station. America
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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