tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
