puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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