Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
