so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
