I could have mohawked her pubes.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize