Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize