I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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