All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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