the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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