I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
