erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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