Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
