Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
